Emotional Regulation in Sport: How to Reset After a Mistake
A missed shot. A questionable decision. A simple error at an important moment. Suddenly, your shoulders tighten, your thoughts speed up, and you are replaying what happened while the game continues. Emotional regulation in sport helps you recognise these moments and find a useful way forward.
If you have ever been told to “calm down” or “just forget about it”, you will know those words rarely provide much direction. Athletes need practical skills they can use while they are frustrated, disappointed or nervous. They also need room to learn those skills without being judged for having emotions.
As a former professional and international footballer, I understand how much athletes invest in their sport. When something matters deeply, strong feelings make sense. Learning how to respond to those feelings is part of an athlete’s development, alongside learning the physical and technical demands of the game.
What Does Emotional Regulation in Sport Actually Mean?
TRUTH BOMB: I had no idea what emotional regulation was in most of my career, and well, it showed! And not in a good way… red cards, refs despising me, tensing up in games when my teammates needed me to be calm and controlled the most.
Not cool!
Emotional regulation means noticing what you feel, understanding how it influences your behaviour, and choosing a response that supports you. The Australian Sports Commission describes emotional self-regulation as managing emotions and the behaviours that follow them during physical activity. [1]
You might still feel annoyed after losing possession while choosing to track back and help your team. You might feel nervous before a race while continuing your warm-up. You can take a useful action before the emotion has completely passed.
The aim is not to feel perfectly calm throughout every competition. Athletes differ in the emotional states they find helpful. Some enjoy feeling fired up; others prefer a quieter focus. The useful question is: “Is my response helping me do what this moment requires?” [2]
Managing Emotions in Sport Starts With Recognising Your Signals
Your first sign might be a clenched jaw, rushed movement or a strong urge to blame yourself. Another athlete might go quiet, stop communicating or avoid asking for the ball. Recognising your own pattern gives you something specific to work with.
Try naming the feeling simply: “I’m frustrated”, “I’m disappointed”, or “I’m worried about making another mistake”. You do not need to explain the whole experience during play. A short acknowledgement can become the starting point for your next decision.
After training, think about a recent difficult moment. What happened? What did you notice in your body? What did you do next? Approach these questions with curiosity. Calling yourself “weak” or “too emotional” gives you little useful information about what to practise.
Self-Regulation Strategies for Athletes: Build a Short Reset
A reset needs to fit the time and space your sport gives you. Between tennis points, you might have time for a small routine. During a football match, your reset may need to happen as you move back into position. Choose something simple enough to use in that setting.
Start with one physical cue. You could release your grip, lower your shoulders or take one comfortable breath out during a pause. Treat this as an experiment: notice whether the cue helps you feel ready for the next action. There is no need for a long breathing routine in the middle of play.
Then choose a clear task. “Stop making mistakes” gives you very little direction. “Find my player”, “watch the ball” or “move my feet” points towards something you can actually do. Keep the cue relevant to your role and the situation.
Imagine a netballer who throws an intercepted pass. She notices her frustration, releases the tension in her hands, and cues herself to “find my player”. The disappointment may still be there. Her reset gives her a way to rejoin the play while she works through it.
This focus on returning attention to the present task is consistent with the Australian Institute of Sport’s competition preparation guidance. [3] Your own routine should suit your sport, your preferences and what you can realistically remember under pressure.
Practise it during ordinary training first. Try it after an error in a drill or between repetitions, then explore it in more demanding situations. Afterwards, ask: “Did that help me get involved again?” Adjust the routine if it felt distracting or too complicated.
Managing Emotions in Sport With Support From Others
Coaches and parents can help make the response to a difficult moment more useful. Consider the difference between “What’s wrong with you?” and “That was frustrating. What’s your next job?” The second response acknowledges the experience and offers a clear direction.
Support can also include boundaries. An athlete can be angry and still be expected to speak respectfully. A coach might say: “I can see you’re upset. We can talk about the decision at the break. Right now, let’s focus on your role.”
After competition, ask whether the athlete is ready to talk before launching into an analysis. A helpful conversation might explore what triggered the reaction, what helped, and one thing to try next time. Leave room to recognise the moments when the athlete did recover and reconnect.
Emotional regulation in sport develops through practice, reflection and support. Start with one signal you recognise and one reset you can rehearse. At HB Athlete Mindset, I support athletes to understand their responses and develop practical mindset skills. Visit https://www.hbathletemindset.com/sport-psychology-services to explore working together and enquire about individual support.
Sources
[1] Australian Sports Commission — Self-regulation (emotions)
[2] Lane and colleagues (2012) — The BASES expert statement on emotion regulation in sport
[3] Australian Institute of Sport — Ready to Perform
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